I'm Ready.

It took me a few weeks to decide if I wanted to post this.
This is the most transparent thing I’ve ever done.
Here we go; this move has been hard on me. I don’t like admitting when something’s been hard or when I’ve been hurt but I have.
Already my life has changed so much. People are replacing me long before I’m gone. I’ve already distanced myself from my best friends in preparation for leaving.
This is not how I wanted it to happen.
I wanted to announce we were leaving and be gone. I don’t like this here but not thing. It’s not working for me.
I want to be in Moscow completely, or not go at all.
I miss my friends, the way we used to be. I don’t even talk to the same people any more.
It’s weird and awkward. I want my old life back; I want everything to be how it was. It was better, perfect for me actually. My friends were the best, better than I could have ever asked for.
This move is already distancing me from them, and I’m not even gone yet. I’m not a fan.
I already miss you Yakima, and the way things were, and I haven’t even left yet.

Yet, with that said I know that God has something better. But I’m sick of hearing that. I want to see it.
I’m ready to see God’s hand and not just have this feeling that something great, and better than I could have ever imagined is coming.
It’s time.

And I’m ready.